Three reasons to permanently switch the “Washington Wizards” back to the “Washington Bullets”:

The switch was based on a false piety in the first place. Reportedly, team owner Abe Pollin was convicted to change the mascot back when a friend was shot and murdered, after pondering the issue for a few years prior. This switch was not really based on any hard correlation between a city’s behavior and its sports team representative. Rather, it was about perception, and the decision was rightfully mocked by area journalists.

But it is hard to respect the argument that “Bullets” glorifies violence, when the D.C. area sat still for so long on the race-baiting “Redskins” nickname for their pro football team. Not to mention, “Wizards” invokes connotations with the Ku Klux Klan, according to some observers. Teammates Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton marred the spiritual veil when they got busted with firearms in the locker room And, finally, on retro/throwback nights, the Wizards become the Bullets temporarily anyway!

When the team was still the Bullets, at least they had some success. They won the NBA title, the franchise’s only one, in 1978. Since the renaming in 1997, there has not been much sunshine for the hometown fanatics. All they have had is a line of sensational locker room tales and on-court futility.

Even majority owner Ted Leonsis was once quoted as admitting that making the Washington basketball team a viable performer was as important as dealing with the name issue. Because, expert crybaby victims, I mean “social justice warriors” aside, professional sports are about business. That’s why “professional” is in the phrase.

Wizards are known to be male-on-male pedophiles, while bullets are merely dangerous projectiles. Well… perhaps there are some similarities there.

But, a bullet has no control over where its owner has fired it. A wizard, a warlock, or a witch has a conscience, at least in theory… Our nation’s capital can be said to have an abundance of both bullets and wizards.

The Washington area residents see and know of their share of guns, even if the murder rate has fluctuated up and down over the years. Meanwhile, Washington politicians and bigwig shakers gather around pentagrams and idols, worship devils, and approve of baby sacrifices (abortions), same as real wizards do.

Any small study of witches will reveal that they believe molesting and murdering small children gives them some power. However, bullets are more honest than wizards and baby molesters. At least there’s no misrepresentation with bullets. They don’t know how to lie and mask themselves like stinkin’ women and men. Bullets just get all up in you (oops, did it again). The way a quality sports team should.